Jordo Media RSS / Atom Feed Directory

Originally published at Confessions of an ex-femme fatale. You can comment here or there.

What a difference a full night of sleep can make!

Originally published at Confessions of an ex-femme fatale. You can comment here or there.

This past week has been a bad one. Limited sleep and lots of work. This can lead to a real damper on one’s psyche and open up avenues in the mind that are better left only to causal pedestrians.

Still, in the back of my poor worn out head, decisions and plans have been made.

Now? Though it is early, I am in my home, my bed, and sleep finally beckons me.

Originally published at Confessions of an ex-femme fatale. You can comment here or there.

This is a test post. If you are an RSS user and see it, please let me know.

Originally published at Tekwh0re.net. You can comment here or there.

I have just changed the nameservers for tekwh0re.net. I didn’t get a chance to do a redesign. You will notice a few posts missing on the new site however. Might also still be a few bumps. Bare with me, please.

Originally published at Tekwh0re.net. You can comment here or there.

First off, I wish you all would just “unfriend” me now. I wish you would stop emailing me about “counseling” If you want me to talk about butterflies and rainbows and parties and how awesome my life is, please go here and here. If you’re going to annoy me because you think you know, when you really know only the smidgen I chose to share with you, then come to Chicago… I have something else I’d love to share with you. I’m pretty sure if I was allowed to share that, I’d feel much better than any drugs or arm chair psychoanalyst could ever do for me.

Remember, I’m watched by people who are far to interested in my personal life so I don’t tell you everything that is going on and I never will. Some of it is because of work reasons. Some of it is because you wouldn’t care. Some of it is because it is none of your business.

So please, I write because I want to, because its all I have. I don’t care if you like me or don’t. Agree with me or don’t. There is only one thing I care about in this world and right that is totally going pear shaped.

Read the rest of this entry »

Originally published at Tekwh0re.net. You can comment here or there.

Actually.

I think I am going to quit school. I am not going to try to figure out how to pay for it anymore.
I’m not going to take my certification exam.

I give up.

The truth is that it doesn’t matter how many certs I get or diploma’s, I’m never, ever, ever, going to be treated with the respect I deserve.

I’m never going to go anywhere because I’ll never get any respect. School, experience, whatever… it doesn’t matter.

I can’t say more but this morning I finally see it.

Originally published at Tekwh0re.net. Please leave any comments there.

And crying is rather stupid and pointless too.

Originally published at Tekwh0re.net. You can comment here or there.

I’ve been up since 3 am.
I couldn’t sleep anymore. I tried to study for a bit but my mind has just been going and going.
Suddenly I’ve come to a conclusion that I can’t discuss on here but I am starting to think is more and more the reason for some things.
It’s 5 am and finally the tears are coming down that I cannot control.
No matter how hard I try
No matter how much I fight
I just cannot win at anything.
I can’t win at work.
I can’t win at relationships.
I can’t win at school.
I can’t win at anything.
I keep trying but the truth is that I cannot win.
I thought everything was going to work out. I thought things had gotten better. In the last two weeks I can only see how wrong I was and how stuck I am.

***
If you are someone I normally call or something, I won’t be for a while. I don’t feel like talking to anyone. It’s pointless.

Originally published at Tekwh0re.net. You can comment here or there.

I started to build a hunch about this about two-three weeks ago however I am more and more sure from the things that I read (and some of it commentary, yet- but there are some facts in the commentary from time to time.)

I think Barak Obama has a problem with being multi-racial and I also think that he dislikes being part white. If you think Barack should be leader of this country and that this isn’t about race, please read the following which came from an editorial today on MSNBC

The fact is Wright is the man who brought Obama to Christ. He is the one who married him and Michelle Robinson. He is the one who baptized their children. He is the one who helped supply a sense of community rootedness and black identity that Obama, by his own account, says he so yearned for as the credentialed but confused son of a racially mixed marriage.

From his own account? He was confused by a racially mixed marriage?

What the fuck kind of message does this send to multiracial children? I was never, ever, ever confused about who or what I was growing up. I was raised by my black mother (well black and American Indian and etc, etc) and my white father that I was MIXED. That I was BOTH. I was raised up as an AMERICAN. I was raised to respect myself and others and the importance of education.

The more I read about Obama, the more I dislike him. He’s had a better education than I- mind you, he applied himself more but he’s grown up with way more “privilege” than I did. How can he be confused about who the hell he is? It doesn’t matter if his mother was white and his father was black- It only matters if you choose to grow up with a chip on your shoulder or blame you personal confusion and failings on race.

I am so sick of hearing “black identity” and “white identity”. I think Barack’s mother was a greater person than he ever will be. She seems to have truly saw beyond race and broke boundaries. Barack on the other hand uses his newfound “blackness” as a reason why he’s overcome the ills of the world which must have been much harder for him.

What a crock of shit.

And twenty years in a church run by a racist and he never heard what his pastor said?

BULL FUCKING SHIT.

Guess what? Black people usually don’t vote. It’s a statistical fact. If it wasn’t for Obama’s “blackness” (of which he was apparently confused about until this racist pastor showed him the light and love of Jesus) it would the the same-o, same-o. Blacks wouldn’t be voting in record numbers because they think they have “one of their own” in office.

Everything about Obama’s stinks like month old trash. THIS is the person that people want to run the country?

I love the US Constitution. I love what America stands for in theory.

I have little respect for my countrymen- they have proven time and time again, they don’t think too deep or too hard about anything and function in a microcosm of USA, USA, USA, without real contemplation of issues from EVERY angle. Must take too much time or be too complicated.

Must like Obama’s “race”.

I hope if Obama wins (*spit) that he still has it figured out who his is once he is in the White House.

I feel so sorry for his mother, I really do.

Originally published at Tekwh0re.net. You can comment here or there.

And so it begins.

Originally published at Tekwh0re.net. You can comment here or there.

I am at the airport in the Red Carpet Club. I wish I wasn’t so fat and ugly or I’d be representing right now and showing off my tats. This dick next to me is trying to explain basketball to the other gentleman next to me who is from somewhere that the accent I cannot quite place. What he fails to realize is that he speaks perfect English. I just spoke to him about the wireless in the building. Now White Yuppie American Male is going on about Tiger Woods- as if anyone gives a fuck??!!

Man, people bore the fuck out of me.

I just put my headphones on. Too bad I don’t really drink anymore.

Also-

In security, I was behind a guy with the hairiest back I have ever seen! Ugh!! Body hair!! Men should shave their legs and pits and pubes. Sorry. Too bad I am not active with cycling anymore- at least there you knew that was what you were getting! At least when I was “active” I was always able to convince the boy toy of the moment to shave that shit in the crotch off. Seems withholding blow jobs has its perks.

I wish traveling was fun or that there was somebody, anybody that I could relate too. This does my head soul in!!

I’M FUCKING BORED WITH MY LIFE!!!

Originally published at Tekwh0re.net. You can comment here or there.

So out of it. Not getting sleep last night was really bad. I don’t think I will hit the sack tonight until midnight- if my flight is on time.

And because some people didn’t get it-

NO, I DO NOT SUPPORT OBAMA. CLICK THE DAMN LINKS. HE IS A JACKASS! I WILL NEVER VOTE FOR HIM. EVER.

I want to take a nap but car to airport here in two hours. I will oversleep if I go to bed now.

I hope my ears will be okay. I am so congested. :*(… AGAIN.

Originally published at Tekwh0re.net. You can comment here or there.

I did not sleep well last night at all. I’d say I was tossing and turning for 50% of it. I believe it was the meds. I also fault myself for not dragging my humidifier out again. I just thought I was over sick and didn’t want to lug that things out again. It’s admitting defeat, ya know? Then again, I am being defeated! I have (I swear this is true) snot coming out of my nose of a luminescence, of a phosphorescence, of a fluorescence, that surely this malady is mocking me in neon, shouting “You’re superman and I’m kryponite!” This virus is doing it’s damnedest to bring me now to my knees and has enlisted the aid of “work stress” and “travel” to assist in its evil plans.

But somehow, this time…

I… Will… Not… Succumb!

Well, at least I hope not. I can’t be out of work again for sickness and you all know why.

Best part of all this?

I gots to gets ons a plane in a few hours.

JOY!!!

Anyway…

Domain transfer finally happened!!! If you have Tekwh0re.net on your RSS feeds, don’t worry, it should update accordingly when I make the change (contact me if it doesn’t). To the rest of you, well when the new site is up, you’ll see and that is that.

Now to walk my dog, drag myself in the shower and wash my hair and attempt not to die between here and Brooklyn.

Originally published at Tekwh0re.net. You can comment here or there.

I just did something that I haven’t done in YEARS. Something that you don’t see me do-

I just ate an orange!

See, I am not a big fan of most fruit but I am trying to teach myself to change! The orange wasn’t too bad.

I had an excellent dinner and my breakfast I made fairly interesting for being just oatmeal.

I really need my domain to transfer over so that I can switch my website over. This is annoying.

Ah… the drugs are kicking in…

I am thinking I might take my digital SLR back to NYC this week. My time there should be done in about two MONTHS so now is the time to see if I can find some cool pictures. Plus it is starting to warm up and I’d like a few night shots.

Originally published at Tekwh0re.net. You can comment here or there.

<–Scary ass photoshop job there! Stolen from here.

Anyway, you win Obama supporters. You were right and I was wrong. Hillary really does stand for politics as usual. She won’t disclose her sources of funding. She has ties to people who keep trying to stir up the race riots (I mean c’mon… Geradine Ferrao? She’s still piss she never got even close to the White House.) She is so desperate to win that she’s been playing politics as usual which I now have to admit is really not cool. So I’m switching my support. I SUPPORT BARACK OBAMA FOR CHANGE!

You guys were right. I was wrong.

**HINT**: I don’t post links for no reason.

Originally published at Tekwh0re.net. You can comment here or there.

Broken hearts only mend when it is their time to mend. No sooner. No later.

You can make yourself numb but numb isn’t really the same as not feeling or caring. Numb is exactly what it states… when the feeling or emotion is suppressed. It’s there- just in a state not to overwhelm in its usual intensity.

***

My doggie loves me soo much. =D I can tell. =)

She just pooted, but she still is my baby.

Originally published at Tekwh0re.net. You can comment here or there.

God I cannot stand Barak Obama. Not only is he a foreign diplomacy dimwit but he does such a huge disservice to those of us who are multiracial and PROUD of it. He doesn’t break down racial barriers, he enforces them. Notice that now that it is very opportune for him to be a black man (guess his mama didn’t do much) he doesn’t push his multiracial background much anymore. But then again, he has always been like that- I caught him on it when he was running for senator in IL and got banned from his website for asking direct questions.

Instead of showing how his parents can overcome the stupidity of racism and flaunt what happens when races mix, he takes the “advantage” of being a “Black” man to make it seem like his accomplishments are more so*. The sad thing is that the Black population of America is running off to vote (and they typically aren’t interested in voting at all) because there is a chance a “Black” man might be president. Can you imagine how race relations must be if even a “Black” man can be president of the United States? Sure, when someone still has to play off one race against another to get advantage, seems like that isn’t really progress at all. When I see the media print stories like this, it angers me greatly. The man has done nothing but talk, talk, talk, and half the time puts his foot in his mouth. But hey, a man can do this but a woman cannot so that is alright. I still don’t understand why Clinton gets attacked when Obama has shady real estate dealings but that gets shoved under the rug because well… it’s Obama!

It only goes to prove that what is good for the gander, still isn’t good for the goose and that people would still rather forgive a male his transgressions and mistakes than deal with a woman who knows what she wants and has the balls enough to go after it.

NOBODY likes a strong woman. NOBODY. NOBODY likes a woman that is a threat to a man. So onward the wannabe “black” man, his ignorance in state affairs, make him king!

Me?

I’m still voting for Clinton. I stand behind her 100%.

Fuck Obama. I didn’t like him four years ago and I like him even less now. At least I’m taking a stand on my opinion of him and not just voting “present”.

*Hallie Berry is another pet peeve of mine. First “black” woman to win an Oscar for best actress? C’mon… once again, apparently one of her parents mastered the art of asexual reproduction as well. These people disgust me.